Good Boys Gone Bland

The Garage: Cars (2006)

Well well well they finally did it. The GBGBs watched the movie Cars for their Car Season. They fired up their car-microphones, sat in their car-chairs, and watched car-Owen Wilson figure out his car-problems for 2 car-hours. This movie is the culmination of a gradually increasing saturation of cars throughout the season. At no point has there been as many cars as Cars. If you want us to watch a movie with more cars, we can't do it. It's literally impossible because there are no movies with more cars than Cars. There's a scene with 200,000 cars in a stadium. What more could you possibly want?? Anyways, parents, this may be a kids movie but this episode is NOT for kids, so kids STAY AWAY, there's cussing and rude behavior in here!!

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Bonus: Batman and Robin (1997)

Jace is out of town this week so Denali and Ryan bat-hooked in to record another special bonus episode! This week they chose to review the most infamous entry in the great Batman cinematic canon: 1997's Batman and Robin. This movie stars George Clooney as the most anatomically correct Batman we have ever seen up to this point. We also have Arnold Schwarzenegger as Mr. Freeze, Uma Thurman as Poison Ivy, and Alicia Silverstone as Batgirl. This movie is insanely stacked and features an icerink battle, a rocketship heist, and a skysurfing sequence all in just the first 5 minutes. Gaze upon Batman and Robin and let your mind shear away as it witnesses some of the wildest scenes in superhero cinema history. 

 

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The Garage - Ford V Ferrari (2019)

2 companies, 2 friends, 1 car, 1 race, 24 hours, 50 business guys, 3 podcast hosts, one show. This episode we review Ford V Ferrari, a biopic starring the Ford GT40 as it navigates the famed 1966 24 hours of Le Mans. Christian Bale and Matt Damon are also in this movie and they act their pants off in this thing, no doubt about it. These fellas build a dang racecar that beats Ferrari in the most famous race in the world. How do they do it?? Well guess what they reenact the whole thing in this here movie and they did it so good it got 4 nominations in the Oscars.

 

In addition to the review, the GBGBs also bring back their ill-advised audio improv comedy segment.... Thanks for stopping by!

The Garage - Speed Racer (feat. Ian)

Here they come, here comes the GBGBs podcast, they are demons on your podcast feed, they are demons and they are gonna be after someone, after someone..... 

The GBGBs are back with their long-awaited review of the 2008 Wachowskis film, SPEED RACER! They are also joined by special guest reviewer Ian, who grew up with our hosts in the great Arctic expanse of Alaska. This movie was a first-watch for the 4 of them, so it was a delightfully wild trip.

Did this film deserve its critical and commercial panning? Or was it a misunderstood masterpiece far ahead of its time, too bold and true in its vision that the shallow, ungrateful masses of 2008 couldn't possibly fathom a reboot that wasn't "gritty" or "tWiSteD" with F-words and dark humor? Sorry, I have been told to remain neutral for the remainder of this description. 

 

Also discussed: the 2008 Teen Choice Awards and use of racing as an allegory for a characters journey (TM)

 

*Bad Audio Warning* Denali had some issues with his recording where everything sounded like it was blown out. We did our best with it, but it's still a little harsh, sorry about that folks!

 

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The Garage - Herbie: Fully Loaded (feat. Micheal)

The GBGBs are back (with special returning guest Micheal) to review our second movie featuring a car possessed by a demonic spirit (citation needed), Herbie: Fully Loaded! Micheal had last joined us during our review of Air Bud: Spikes Back, so we thought it was only appropriate to rope him into another 2000s Disney classic. 

 

This movie stars Lindsay Lohan as an aspiring racecar driver who meets a mysterious Volkswagon Beetle that seemingly has a mind of its own.... Hijinks ensue, the Beetle farts and pees on 6 different people, and Justin Long looks great in a tank top. 

Also discussed: The 2006 Kid's Choice Awards Quiz, what's a "car movie", and the terrifying real-world possibilities of having a self-aware car. 

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Bonus: Critters (1986)

We're back with another bonus episode where we review the New Line Cinema cult classic, CRITTERS! Jace was out adventuring in Japan during recording so Ryan and Denali took up the helm this episode. Critters stars a bizarre batch of alien furballs hellbent on eating the inhabitants of Earth. It is up to two shapeshifting alien bounty hunters to dispatch these "critters" and rescue a terrorized family in rural Kansas. There's wild practical effects, slapstick gags, and even a full fake glam rock music video starring one of the main characters. Car fans fear not, we will be returning to the Car Season soon with our review of Herbie: Fully Loaded. But until then, enjoy this special review of CRITTERS!

 

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The Garage: Christine (1983) (feat. Trevor)

HAPPY HALLOWEEEEN! We're halfway through our Car Season and it's finally time for us to review a movie that STARS a car, Christine (1983)! The GBGBs have also invited their friend Trevor as a guest reviewer to help us digest this wild adaptation of a Stephen King classic.

 

This movie is directed by John Carpenter and features a KILLER CAR that begins to possess the mind and spirit of an unwitting nerdy teenager named Arnie. As the story progresses, Arnie transforms in to a cool and mysterious weirdo who begins to freak out his friends. Can they stop this strange car it consumes them all? Find out in our review of Christine! Or ya know, maybe watch the movie first? Idk who are we to say. 

 

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The Garage: Gone in 60 Seconds

QUICKLY, there isn't much time! The GBGBs watched Gone in 60 Seconds (2000) this week where Nicholas Cage has to steal 50 cars in 3 days. So far our car season has had movies with a few cars, but this movie has FIFTY of 'em. There's other famous folks in there too, like Angelina Jolie, Robert Duvall, Timothy Olyphant and Michael Pena, what a cast! Oh geez we already wasted too much time. Okay okay this movie is wild, its got heists, car jumps, an evil british guy who loves woodworking, and a chase scene down the LA river. The GBGBs also discuss how we can improve cars and introduce BattleCars as a sanctioned sport. Okay we made it!!

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The Garage: The Art of Racing in the Rain

Well well well it finally happened, the GBGBs reviewed The Art of Racing in the Rain, the lost film that has been on our watchlist since our legendary Dog Season. This will hopefully be our only dog movie in our Car Season but you never know what these boys are gonna do to each other.

This movie stars Kevin Costner as a golden retriever who narrates the life of a racecar driver played by Milo Ventimiglia. Most of the movie is the dog waxing poetic while a Hallmark movie messily unfolds in the background. This movie cost $4 to rent on Amazon but if you want to save your money, listen to this episode and we'll walk you through the whole thing.

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Bonus: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

Jace was out of town so Ryan and Denali decided to record another Summer Break Bonus Episode and review the 1990 film, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! This episode is coming out just in time for the new TMNT movie that came out months ago and is probably already out of theaters. This movie was a wild ride that featured 90s New York attitude, rubber turtle suits, and questionable ninja costumes. 

 

Also discussed: Ryan's near-death experience over the weekend, TMNT lore, and how this movie in some ways ages way better than we thought it would?

 

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